Unnecessary fear is the great enemy of equanimity. (Necessary fear is the warning that tells you to take action and avoid danger; unnecessary fear is the old stuff that bleeds through to the present.) I’ve been working hard with the daily meditation book from Emmet Fox. A member of my peer support group gave it to me and I could not be more grateful. I open it the moment I wake up and turn on the light in the morning. He’s all about replacing anxious, terrified thoughts with thoughts of God. Whenever you feel scared, he teaches, just put your thoughts on your higher power, whatever you call it.

I’m also practicing feeling the love. For years I was mostly numb, first with the food, then by mentally clamping down my emotions. Even when I became willing to feel the love that’s all around, I had to learn how. Now I’m learning to slow down my breath; remember the sensations in my body of golden, joyful moments small and large, with my children, with a beautiful sunset, with my dear husband, with my fluffy adoring dog, with dear friends and even friendly strangers, and summon up the great love that nourishes me more than any substance, food, event, person or accomplishment ever could. It’s a practice, a habit to develop that is already beginning to kick in by itself. You do something often enough and it begins to do itself inside you, I’ve found. You remind yourself of love, and love begins to remind you of it. And the more I go to this place and look for the miracles, the more miracles I experience. Yes, there is heartache and heartbreak all around us. We’ve all got a story. But when I go to the love, I am healed, I am empowered, and I stand a better chance of living the happy, useful life I know is my primary purpose here on earth.