Embrace your colors!

November 2012 marks 19 years since I found the solution to my obesity and my food obsession. Effective this month I have been abstinent for 19 years from sugar, wheat and flour. I also weigh and measure all my meals (except in restaurants where I order carefully and moderately). One day at a time I’m maintaining a 100-pound weight loss.

It’s a miracle, for sure. To celebrate, I want to expose three myths about food and weight and recovery from obesity.

Myth #1: Relapse is inevitable. No, it’s not. Sometimes in addiction circles you hear that relapse is part of recovery. My take: Relapse happens. But it doesn’t have to and it’s not required. That we can learn from relapse, sure. With any degree of grace, we learn from any and every painful thing that happens. But there’s no need to set ourselves up for the pain. I worry that thinking relapse is inevitable makes folks relax their guard and lighten up on the hard work of recovery. Not wanting to do what it takes to make a good life, that’s human nature. Nobody is gung-ho all the time. But we don’t have to sink down into the I-don’t-wannas. We can rise above, recoup our commitment to our best interest and move back into doing those things we know keep us healthy and sane.

Myth #2: You shouldn’t deprive yourself. There are certain false truths that get repeated over and over in the popular media coverage of weight loss. The biggest one is, “Don’t give up something totally. Eventually it’ll come around to bite you double-time.” I know what they’re trying to say. They don’t want you to be a martyr to the weight loss cause. They don’t want you holding your breath waiting for that croissant at the end of the rainbow. Let’s be careful here what we call deprivation, though. There are a lot of us who truly have a biochemical sensitivity to certain foods—and the only way to be free is to give them up totally. By God’s grace, I have not had one speck of sugar, wheat and flour in 19 years. Am I deprived? Are you kidding? I have been liberated! Do you truly want to be at the beck and call of a cookie? If you start eating something and then can’t stop, doesn’t it make sense never to start? You only have to do this one day at a time. Don’t give it up, promising you’ll have it one day. Give it up promising yourself it’s just for today. (After all, today is all anyone has, right?) That’s how I made 19 years.

Myth #3: Just eat less and move more. That’s only two-thirds of the truth. What works for long-term recovery is, eat less, move more, believe in something or someone greater than yourself. If we give up things (kinds and quantities of food we think we need or love) without replacing them with healthy things (a power greater than ourselves), we set ourselves up for a fall. We have to nurture our inner life, our spiritual side, our soul, to grow in health. I struggled with this higher power stuff for a long time. But gradually over the years I have found a higher power, through observing the joys of nature, feeling the power of connection with people I love and respect, through reading ancient and modern texts written by those who’ve had these struggles before me. When I feel depleted, instead of reaching for something of the world, I can fill myself up with spiritual sustenance. Prayer. Meditation. Readings. Writings. Journaling. Connecting with others. Yes, I must eat right. Yes, I must exercise. And yes, I must build spiritual muscle.