Tis the season to be who you are, as you are.
Did you know that it is okay to be inconsistent! I didn’t. Wow! It’s okay to not be and feel the same all the time! I don’t have to be a rock. I can be water! Who knew?
Just this morning a friend said, “I have given myself permission to be cyclical.”
Bingo! Here was an answer to a prayer and a struggle I’ve been having for ages. I’ve been confounded and more than a little annoyed by how changeable I can be from one day or even one moment to the next. I amaze myself sometimes by thinking something’s a good idea, then, the next day, waking up and thinking it’s a bad idea. And then thinking, “What was I thinking? How can you be such a flibbertigibbet?”
I’ve been baffled by how I can be so productive one day, a big mush the next. What’s up with that?
Well, if I go by this new idea that I’m allowed to be cyclical, all I need to know is that, um, I was thinking one thing one day and another thing the next. Or, some days I’m more productive than others. Case closed. (Or, if there needs to be resolution, prayer, meditation, journaling and consultation with others can bring me to where I need to be. But during the process, it’s okay to cycle through different feelings and points of view.)
For the longest time, I thought the way to be my best in the world was to be the same every day. I have learned to adore discipline in some areas, but I could never understand why I was all over the place in other areas.
There are some things in my life that cannot vary, like the way I eat and exercise, or whether I am committed to being the peace I want to see in the world, or whether I’m loyal to friends and family. But for a lot of stuff, it’s just not possible to be the same every day, and I was making myself nuts trying.
New POV: It’s not a question of inconsistency. It’s a question of cycles.
It’s not, as I feared, that I don’t know who I am or that I’m indecisive or too moody. It’s that sometimes I feel one way, sometimes another. Sometimes there’s a full moon, sometimes there’s a quarter moon. Sometimes it’s day, sometimes it’s night. Sometimes I’m in the mood to be with people, sometimes I’m not. Sometimes I have energy, sometimes I’m tired. It’s all me.
To everything, there is a season, in other words. Even me and my moods, energy levels, likes and dislikes, opinions and what have you.
Sheesh. That’s a relief. Okay, cycling off for now. Love you! Hugs! Happy New Year!
I understand about inconsistency. Like you, it seems to be my life and I accept it! Actually you never have the opportunity to get bored. I listen to my spirit, to God and when it feels right, I make the next move or take that small step. Unfortunately according to the professionals, this type of inconsistency, can be labeled as Bipolar. It seems in this rigid world, it’s easier to put labels on humans, then getting to understand them as a whole being.
Wow, Matilda, I never thought of consistency that way. But of course, that makes sense. It’s such a delicate thing, don’t you think? There are some extremes we don’t want to go to…for me it’s a question of checking with my gut moment to moment to see whether I’m close to a line, too far up, over, on this side or that.
I heard you speaking and remembered your website. I love that I am like lake ontario that I stroll in. Some days fierce and strong, others soft and gentle. I dont have to be consistent. Some days when I am down, I feel bothered. What is missing? Nothing. Just the tide flowing in and then out. Simple. Like walking the beach.