I have two friends who always remind me to look for the miracles. When my thoughts are racy, it can’t be heard. I’m just now reading Marsha Sinetar’s 2000 book “Sometimes Enough is Enough” and early on she talks about aligning our thoughts with God’s thoughts. (Always, dear friends, when I say God I mean, as I understand God and by implication, as you understand a power greater than yourself.) Whoa! Where did that come from? The layers of revelation are infinite re being human. When I was 254 pounds, my first recovery work was about the physical. And that has to be sustained, all the basics of eating right and taking care of my body as priority. But the bigger issue has been to get out of my head into my body. Now that I am doing that–by slowing down, connecting with my senses, breathing–I’ve had this revelation about thoughts. They too must be aligned with the greater good. Escaping into obsession, rumination and racy thoughts is not necessary, desirable, or even, frankly, natural.

Twenty-five years ago I committed to this recovery. I didn’t want to be fat. I didn’t want to have food as my highest power. I wanted my life’s richness to be about relationships, service and experience, not about where the next pastry was coming from, or how I was going to sustain my health with all the conditions related to obesity. The more I dedicate time and effort to staying in conscious contact with my higher power, the more I need to do that. The more I am called to that. And the greater the rewards–of humilty, serenity and Good Orderly Direction.

I’m off to some retreat time in the woods of upstate New York. I’ll probably be spending a lot of time building fires and huddling near the woodstove. And aligning my thoughts with God’s thoughts. Higher Power wants us to be happy, joyous and free. It’s a gift, but one we have to claim by clearing the channel–losing the destructive behaviors–and listening with our bodies and minds. Slowing down, making dedicated time for connecting. It’s not just important to me, it’s central, primary, core, vital, essential, life-sustaining.