Spin me around in a hurricane, and I am going to have, as they say, “issues.”

As in, everything is a learning experience.

The hurricane itself barely affected me, relative to those who lost loved ones, homes, or important belonging. Yes, my family endured five cold, dark days without power in our New Jersey home. And still, we’re dealing with gas lines, minor food shortages and, sometimes, short tempers.

But Sandy did hit me where I live—in the safety bone. Safety is a big deal for me. Always has been. A bumpy childhood will do that to you. Minus heat and light and hot water and my normal routines, minus the sense that all was well in my community, I went a little off center. I wasn’t surprised—you can’t be comfortable in an uncomfortable situation, after all—but I did know I was going to have some work to do.

At the end of our Sandy Week, when the power came on—light! heat! hot water!—I sat still and quiet with how discombobulated I’d been. How attached to my material comforts. How unhinged to have them taken away.

I sat, and ever-so-gently breathed down into all that fear and confusion. That in turn took me to places where there were still the bits and pieces of wounds, places where other people had hurt me.

And while I was there in that place I asked, “How can I protect myself?”

What is required, my viscera informed me, is absolute reliance on the power greater than myself that lives in me, as me.

“But how do I do that?” was the next question. “What does reliance on a higher power, and not things of the world, what does that look and feel like?” Extreme self-nurture, was the answer. Radical self-love. Recognizing that I need to forgive myself for being vulnerable, and forgive others for their own frailties. Lean on myself more, things and other people’s opinions, less.

There was more: Honor my inner light by sharing my experience, strength and hope. Take good care of my body and mind. Give and receive love in everyday actions, small and large. Prayer time, and meditation, too.

I wish it were easier. I really do. But there it is. Breathing in, breathing out. Building my spiritual muscles. Taking life on life’s terms, just for today. That’s where the safety is.

Truthfully, I’m not all that excited about my options. I’m addicted to guarantees, sunshine and happy endings.

But this ever-deepening reliance on a higher power, well, if that’s where it’s at, count me in! You?