Tag Archives: stress

25 Ways to Relax in Under a Minute

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Taking care of yourself equals receiving the care and love of your higher power. Self care is imageGod’s love, pure and simple. Your creator does not need or want you to feel all beat up, bent out of shape and burnt out. Your creator wants you to feel rich, lovable, fulfilled and loved. This is where your strength and comfort come from.

The hardest times to do self-care are when you’re beset by life’s unavoidable obligations, trials and tribulations. Try one of these when you’re so overwhelmed you feel you can’t possibly take more than a minute.

  1. Brush your hair
  2. Pull up your socks and tie your shoes
  3. Wash your hands sloooowly after using the loo; revel in the hot soapy water
  4. Splash cool water on your face; blot ever so gently
  5. Take a long, slow drink of water. Keep a water bottle nearby for this
  6. Look around the room and pick out everything that’s your favorite color
  7. Raise your shoulders up to your ears. Hold to the count of 30, then drop them. Repeat
  8. Send someone a little “thinking of you” text or email
  9. Lightly run your hairbrush over the tender inside of each arm and give yourself a chill

10. Read a page in a meditation book you keep near your work station just for that purpose

11. Call your BFF and ask permission to work just a little bit not-so-hard. I promise she’ll give it to you.

12. Pray this three times to yourself: “I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.”

13. See how many things you can write in a minute that you’re grateful for

14. Stare out the window. Set a timer. Find one at http://www.online-stopwatch.com/countdown-timer/  I dare you!

15. Make a list of what you’ll do with your first million.

16. Pray the Serenity Prayer a few times: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Or another favorite prayer or inspirational verse. You might like to memorize one or two at a more relaxed time for this purpose. I often use the 23rd Psalm. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+23&version=KJV

17. Stop. Breathe. Wait. Tell yourself, “There is nothing in front of me that’s life or death.” (Unless, of course there is. In which case, put this blog down and  go to it!)

18. Consider the importance to life of marshmallow peeps https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAUUL-Ypdu8

19. Repeat to yourself: I am enough, I have enough, I do enough.

20. Reach your arms around yourself and give yourself a big hug!

21. Take off your shoes and assuage your arches

22. Think of a friend who’s struggling and send her some good vibrations

23. Think of someone who’s on your last nerve, like your boss or your teenage son, and pray, “Bless him. Bless me.” Repeat.

24. Stand up. Reach up. Streeetch as tall as you can. Lean to left. Lean to the right. Streeeetch!!!!

25. Forward this list to someone who might need it! Pat yourself on the back for doing a good deed. Feel better!!!!!

Find more self-care, self-loving guidance in my book The Hungry Ghost: How I Ditched 100 Pounds and Came Fully Alive. Find more inspirational suggestions in other blogs at gayedelman.com. You can also sign up to receive the blog as an email newsletter.

My Amazing New Teacher

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She’s bold.. She’s shy. She’s quirky. And she’s been hiding in plain sight.

For the last several years I’ve been a bit at sea in my spiritual journey.

Yes, I was blessed with peer support groups where people use kumbaya language generously and uncynically. Yes, I was blessed with friends who will share their soul journey and hear about mine with respect and kindness.

And it was good.

But still I craved that certain someone. A teacher, a pal, a coach, a counselor, a guru a little (or a lot) farther along the in the journey, to help me on my way.

I’ve noticed in my reading over the years in different faith traditions that there are a lot of common themes. One of them is, do not go this journey alone. My own intuition informs and supports that wisdom. You hear about so many people who go off the rails listening to some call that turns out not to have been in anyone’s best interest. This, I think, is how cults get formed. In the extreme, it can define psychosis.

My friend Karen used to tell the story of how when she was first trying to access the higher power she wanted for a better, healthier life, she meditated for hours every day. And one day in during the mediation, she saw the entire next day. A sort of movie of everything. When the next day actually unfolded exactly as she had seen in her meditation, it freaked her out. She joined Unity and there met a kindly couple who became her spiritual mentors.

For about a decade, I had a spiritual director, someone whose role it was to talk to about what I was thinking, feeling and doing to feed and fuel my soul, achieve richer fuller health, and be of some use on the planet. Our relationship was nurturing and helpful, but ran its course.

But I’m still on the path. What to do? I asked and asked the universe to send me my next teacher.

And a few days ago, during my morning meditation, she finally arrived: She is me! I was so busy consuming self-help books and courses and ideas that I hadn’t allowed myself any time to assimilate them.

For years, I’ve heard that we each have everything inside that we need. The answers are there and all.  I sort of knew  what people were talking about, but I just couldn’t settle down and listen.

Time to do that, my new teacher said!

Let’s be clear about one thing, though. The me we are talking about here is not my ego or my willfulness—what some might call the lower self.

No. We’re talking about the higher self. The part of me that’s totally plugged into the greater whole. What some might call God. What Elizabeth Gilbert calls the God that lives in me, as me.

That’s the me who’s my new teacher.

Who am I to say "no" to royalty???

Who am I to say “no” to royalty???

So this teacher? She’s given me my first assignment: Slow down and listen. Just listen. Don’t run away from anything. Don’t push toward anything. Just listen. Amazing! Thanks, Teach!

 

 

Don’t Be So Nice!

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So I’m at the red light and the light turns green. There’s one car in front of me and it doesn’t move. I’ve been working on being more patient, so I decide to give him a couple seconds before I honk. Boom! Someone hits me from behind.

I’m okay. Sore neck, sore back, two hours in the ER and a billion x-rays say nothing’s broken. Right. Thank goodness. Really, THANK GOODNESS!!!

But from now on, the second the light turns green, I’m giving my horn a helpful tap. That’s just sensible self-protection. Good Orderly Direction. Keeping the system running smoothly for all.

Too nice is not healthy for anybody.

And by the way, I didn’t let anyone yell at me about the accident, either. When someone did start yelling at me that there was no damage to my car, why did I want to involve the insurance companies? well, I just went over the the police officer and asked him to handle the situation and keep that angry person away from me.  He did.

Nice does not include, need or involve letting someone hurt me in any way at all, ever. (For the record, I knew I was going to need medical attention. I felt my head whip back and forth. That’s why I needed a police report. And there was damage to the car as well. I don’t have to explain, but I wanted to.)

Compassion, yes. Patience, yes. But awareness, alertness and common sense, too. I don’t have to be a doormat. I don’t have to give myself away to my own detriment. I don’t have to be hero, a saint or a martyr.

The Buddhists have a thing called Idiot Compassion, where you kindly hang in there when there’s no good outcome foreseeable and you’re being hurt. No more Idiot Compassion.

And for the record, I did not yell at anybody. I did not lose my cool. I did take care of myself. And here I am, alive and well and learning. Always learning!

 

 

Growing Up Is Hard to Do!

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I discovered this poem on a friend’s refrigerator magnet. Whew! I could not find the author, so if you know, do tell. In the meantime, I love how it gently and firmly reminds me of a few things: Joy is mine. Joy is not guaranteed, it has to be claimed. I have to do what I have to do. I can only do what I can do. Compassion is power, gentleness is strength. There is no magic but there is possibility, potential, hope and acceptance of life on life’s terms is freedom. This, my dear ones, is how we become grown up.

 Miracles Happen

 After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul.

And you learn that love doesn’t mean security.

And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts.

And presents aren’t promises.

And you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open.

With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child.

And you learn to build all your roads on today

because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain,

and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.

After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much.

So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone else to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure.

That you really are strong.

And you really do have worth.

And you learn and learn.

With every goodbye you learn.